Gentleness Isn't Trying to Be Perfect

"Turning our attention more inward, let's take a look at the problem of perfectionism. Perfectionist often believe that their neurosis affects only themselves, that their problem is such a part of who they are that it cannot be changed. But this is not true. Perfectionism plagues more than the obsessed one; it also harms those around her. The problem with perfectionism is that it comes from a heart that believes that it deserves to be-no, must be-perfect. Perfectionists base who they are on how well they do things. In other words, they serve their pride and their sense of self through their efforts. This is pride and has no meekness in it. The meek or gentle spirit is content with things, even imperfect things. She puts no demands on herself that don't come directly from God, and she accepts his grace in those moments when she fails. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast.” (Ephesians 2:8-9 ESV) The perfectionist has no time for grace, and in the path of perfectionism lies battered relationships that experience the prideful wrath of the moments when perfection fails. Gentleness carries with it a sober understanding of who we are: broken and frail, fallen and unrighteous. It agrees with pride, demand more of itself, as if it were better than others, but instead agrees with God that we are sinners saved by grace and unable to make ourselves perfect, no matter how hard we work. This should come as a relief to the perfectionist.
The lie that everything you do has to be perfect comes from the pit of hell. It argues with God over the true nature of your soul, sinful and broken, and it demands recognition for being, well, perfect. But gentleness makes no such demands. In peace it allows God to be all and so relies not on success or perfection to be the reward for hard work. Gentleness is freedom for the perfectionist-forever changing the subject to the Father and forever allowing success to be defined as loving God with everything and loving others as ourselves."

From Haley DiMarco in The Fruitful Wife (From Chapter 8 on Gentleness)

Wow; this hit home for a perfectionist like me. I can remember growing up and learning to just do things on my own, because in more ways than one, I learned to do things myself if "I wanted them done right and on time." I let those 'failures/sins' in others affect how I treated them and instead of seeing them as God sees them. Of course, God had plans to change my heart and how I saw people. He forced me to learn to lean on others in the body of Christ (instead of do everything myself) like when I was forced on my back for 9 weeks on bed-rest when I got rear ended pregnant with my first son. Through those times of fearing to even get up and go the restroom, I learned to lean on others and learn that things can get done even if it isn't 'my way' and in 'my time.' I had even more of my perfectionism shatter when I become a mother of two boys. Not only did the perfectionism in my body change but my safe haven. I've learned that it is more important and sane to have a joyful home and playful boys than have a perfect looking home that is spotless with toys hidden. And again as we down-sized our income and home from large engineering salaries to being in the ministry, my perfectionism in my dreams, living arrangements, clothing, location, activities, and other luxuries have all changed from a worldly perspective to focusing on what God values, eternal treasures that truly satisfy. And in this, I find more joy and peace. I rest more in the cross and less in what I've made for my life. Don't get me wrong, I still have so far to go and still struggle with missing the luxuries I used to have before entering full-time ministry. But I know that with God's guidance, He led us to this path and I've been blessed in so many ways. I thank God for His plan in my life and that He doesn't let me mess it up!


The heart of man plans his way, but the LORD establishes his steps." (Proverbs 16:9 ESV)

Our Cool Dudes

Life has flown by lately. We have been busy and dealt with sickness for the last two weeks since returning from Texas. Finally, both boys are healthy and we are enjoying their entertainment!

One of Noah and Luke's favorite things is putting objects in their mouth...at what age do that stop doing that? One of their favorite things is a Mr. Potato Head Santa beard. Ho Ho Ho...although they don't really know who Santa is and we don't intend on taking any of the focus off Christ onto Santa during Christmas.

 Legos! Noah loves building Clifford a dog fence to play in. 

 Clifford is peeking out the window here...

 We were really excited to go to the state fair this year since last year it rained on the 'cheap' day we went and didn't get to do much. And the year before I was pregnant and didn't want to walk around in the heat. This year, we decided to go on a day where we would pay full price so it wouldn't be over-crowded and we would have a great experience. Well, it wasn't. After we spent the gas money to travel there, Luke lost one of his shoes so he couldn't get out of the stroller, we didn't have any cash and wasn't able to get any out, and found out the rides didn't open until 1pm (after we left so the boys could take naps at Grammy's house before dinner). We also messed up the wheel on our double stroller that we often use. So, we learned a lot on that trip...and how to be better prepared for fair day. Or, maybe we will just stick with the zoo since Pop and Grammy blessed us with another season pass for this year. 

We were able to see some animals and a few other things. Here are a couple pictures we took...

 Cuties! Maybe next year will work out for us.

 More pictures of my Green Monster Smoothies...

 I think that one was one of the best I've made, second to the one with the mango! It is pretty good with orange too! This one had...1 c. packed baby spinach, 1/2 c. vanilla almond milk, 1 tbsp. Flaxseed, 1/2 tbsp. local spun honey, 1/2 frozen banana, 3 frozen strawberries, and 3 ice cubes. Yum!!!

So cool!

Day Out with Daddy

Daddy and Noah had a fun day planned for over a month and Noah was finally thrilled when the day actually came. He would say over and over, "Just you and me Daddy," about the day. So precious! They started at the DFW airport observation point. Noah loves planes and loved seeing them in action!

After that they headed to Lego Land. This was the third time Noah has been but the first time he has gone with Daddy. He was soooo excited! Can you tell...

Daddy taught him how to shoot the bad guys on this ride. He didn't catch on when I was with him. Some things just have to be taught by Daddy :)

Noah loves mini Lego Land of the Dallas area. It is made up of the smallest Legos and has trains that run, cranes that you can move, football players on the Dallas Cowboys field, and on and on! It is incredible!

One of the highlights is playing with the large, hard, foam Lego's. 

Noah told me before he went that he would build an even taller tower than I built with him because Daddy was going to help! Daddy is Noah's hero, Noah thinks he can do anything. We are trying to teach him that God is even stronger, bigger, and greater than Daddy! That will rock his world when he gets it!

He also loves the Bob the Builder 4D movie! So cute!

Noah came back and told me that if he keeps eating his food his legs will be long enough to touch the pedals on this ride and that Daddy pedaled really hard to get them flying high!

Here he is building his Lego race car...

So proud!

Race time...1...2...3!

Racing down the ramps...

Building a black tower that survives the earthquake. He has engineering blood in him, he is bound to do a good job!

Eating lunch with Daddy at Rainforest Cafe' with all the animals!

Watching the fish interested him more than the way-too-real looking crocodile out front!

Riding the train around Grapevine Mills Mall. Loves trains!

After that, they went to Bass Pro to complete their manly time.

 Noah loved seeing all the animals!

 He even got his first fishing pole! 

 Boy, what a day for a sweet boy and his loving Daddy! I am so blessed to have them in my life!

Dallas Zoo

We like to visit the Dallas zoo each time we go to Dallas. My parents have season tickets so it is great entertainment! We started out at the elephant statues before seeing the real ones. Noah, Makenna (our niece), and Luke...

Elephants are Luke's favorite animal!

Our boys...

Grandpa helping Noah feed the giraffes.

Noah and Makenna discovered they could just slip the lettuce under the fence to feed the baby giraffe. So sweet!

Our ride on the monorail..Makenna and Noah are such good buddies. Makenna is 1/2 a year older than Noah so it has been a lot of fun seeing them grow up together.

They were peeking at Grandpa and Nana before the ride began.

Brothers...

Noah wanted to ride the camel again...

Mommy and Luke also got a ride...

Poor Luke got smashed in the front!

We also got to see the penguins. Noah was hiding from them.

 They always love going to the children's area to play in the stream, go to the petty zoo, climb the spider web, go down the slides, see the chickens, etc.

 It was such a fun visit! After that, they boys fell asleep in the car right away while we drove to Fort Worth. We were thrilled to visit our church there, Wedgwood Baptist Church. It was fun to visit with our loved ones there and John even got to lead the youth band for the youth service...just like old times (current guy's wife just had a baby). It was such a blessed time! Wish we could have seen more and visited with even more there but our time was rushed.

On another note, I had to add this picture of Grandpa and Luke. Luke was being such a good helper. Turning his head and and trying to figure out the problem with Grandpa. So sweet!

Haley's Party

Haley (our niece) has her birthday party each year at the first OSU home game. It is fun to go to Stillwater and hang out with our whole family to be there for Haley and the new OSU season. We didn't go to the game given that it was at 6pm, 2 1/2 hours from our house, and our Pastor was driving; but it was fun to be there anyway!

This was my favorite picture of the day... Grammy reading to her grand kids. Precious! They all adore Grammy and she does such a great job loving them all!

Noah enjoyed riding with Uncle John on the four wheeler to feed their cows.

Luke also got a chance...

Luke loved seeing the horses. They are gorgeous!

I didn't get any pictures of the presents being opened but we all had a lot of fun at the party. Seeing the family was the best part!

The boys were spent as soon as we got in the car! Poor things...they need a neck pillow!